Title: Five Days
Rating: R-ish? (sex happens, but nothing too graphic)
Word count: 4,174
Spoilers: Takes place after the Season 1 finale, 1x10
Summary: Five days, each one a year after the last.
A/N: So... I don’t even know. This totally came out of nowhere. Un-betaed, so all mistakes are mine.
When Marnie wakes up the day after Jessa’s wedding, at first she thinks that it was all a dream. A weird, messed up, crazy dream.
Because obviously, of the four of them, it certainly wouldn’t be Jessa – free spirit, pot-smoking, bohemian Jessa – who would be the first one to get married. And even if she were, the absolute last person that she’d be marrying would be that douchey venture capitalist guy.
Then Marnie rolls over and promptly freaks out. Because she’s in a bedroom she doesn’t recognize, and yeah, she moved out of Hannah’s apartment (and who is anyone kidding, she moved out of her own damn apartment, because she paid all the rent for that place, not Hannah), but not only is this not her own bedroom, but it’s also not Jessa’s or Shoshanna’s or anyone else’s she can think of.
Then that guy from her dream – well, maybe it wasn’t a dream, if he’s really here – the one who “officiated” the “wedding” peeks his head around the corner, and oh shit, is this his bedroom?
“Hey,” he calls in, a shy smile on his face. And God, she can’t even remember what his name is. Did she ever even know what his name is? “You’re awake.”
“Yeah,” is all she manages to say in return, wide-eyed and staring at him. And oh, if it wasn’t a dream, then for one thing, it means that she kissed him last night, and for another, it means that Jessa’s freaking married. What an idiotic thing for Jessa to do.
She tries to be subtle as she takes a quick look at herself under the covers, but really, she’s a little (a lot) too hungover for subtlety right now. She’s clothed, at least, so that’s something.
What’s-his-name chuckles. “Don’t worry,” he says. “We came back here, and then you immediately passed out. I slept on the couch.”
Marnie makes a face, trying to deny that that’s what she was thinking about, as if he didn’t just catch her checking to see if she was naked or not. But really, what’s the point? They both know that’s what she was doing.
“Sorry...” she trails off, unsure whether she’s apologizing for passing out, for making him sleep on the couch, or for the fact that she probably acted like a drunken idiot the night before.
“Bobby,” he supplies. And, not that she doesn’t appreciate it, but that’s not actually why she was pausing.
“No, I knew that,” she lies.
It’s an awkward way to start her day.
Marnie runs out of the bathroom, toothbrush still in her mouth, skidding in her socks across the hardwood floor to just barely reach her ringing phone before it goes to voicemail.
“Hewwo?” She picks up without noticing the caller id.
There’s nothing but silence on the other end, as she strolls back to the bathroom and spits into the sink.
“Shoshanna, is that you?” she asks.
“Um, no,” a familiar but haven’t-heard-it-in-a-very-long-time voice replies.
Marnie actually drops the phone. Who does that?
She scrambles to pick it up again. “Jessa?” she immediately demands in surprise, taking a second to finally look at the caller id. Sure enough, ‘Jessa Johansson,’ it reads.
“Did you just drop your phone?” Jessa asks, laughter in her voice.
“Uh, yeah, sorry.” Marnie’s blushing, now, and she doesn’t even really know why. “So, um, hi,” she continues, because this isn’t exactly a normal occurrence. She and Jessa don’t talk anymore. Not directly, anyway. They both talk to Shoshanna, and Shoshanna talks to both of them, but they don’t talk to each other.
(And Marnie talks to Hannah too, but not as often, and it’s never again been quite like it was before, and when they do talk, they don’t talk about Jessa. Not by design, or anything. They just don’t.)
“Hey,” Jessa replies, still with a hint of laughter. “Right, so... I don’t know. It was my anniversary yesterday, and that made me think of you, so... I thought I’d give you a ring.”
Marnie blinks. “Right. Yeah. Um, congrats,” she says stiltedly. She shrugs at herself in the mirror, because really, what do you even say to that?
“Ah. So Shoshanna hasn’t told you, then?” Jessa asks in response.
Marnie waits, tilting her head to the side, before asking, “Told me what?” when Jessa doesn’t fill in the silence right away.
“Yesterday is now special for a new reason – my divorce is now official.”
“Oh,” she says, and there’s a weird little spark of emotion, which Marnie consciously chooses not to analyze any further. “I didn’t know. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be,” Jessa scoffs. “The whole thing was rather ridiculous from the start.”
“Yeah,” Marnie agrees, daring to laugh at loud. “It really was.”
There’s a moment of comfortable silence, and then Jessa adds, “I should have spoken to you before I did it. You would have talked me out of the insanity.” She laughs, but there’s a note of seriousness there, too.
Marnie scrunches up her face, but she really has no idea what to say to that. Sorry I didn’t stop you from getting married? Talk about awkward.
“Anyway,” Jessa mercifully continues. “How are you? Seeing anyone?”
“No, not right now,” Marnie shakes her head. “You know,” she goes on with a chuckle, waving her toothbrush in the air, “I actually briefly dated this guy I met at your wedding.”
“Yes, I did hear that,” Jessa replies. Marnie can suddenly picture Jessa in her head, smirking playfully. “I once suggested to Thomas that all of us should go on a double date, and then maybe have a foursome. He was all for it, until he realized that would mean that Bobby would have to be involved as well.”
Jessa laughs and Marnie chuckles along, but then another awkward silence sets in. Because thinking about foursomes-that-never-were makes her think about the threesome-that-almost-was-but-was-
“So yeah,” Jessa once again continues. “Like I said, I was just thinking of you, so.”
“You sound good, Jessa,” Marnie says honestly. “Are you good?”
“I am, actually,” Jessa responds, and she sounds like she means it, but Marnie can never really be sure with Jessa. “Honestly, when people talk about the ‘sanctity of marriage,’ I don’t think they’re talking about mine. I was trying to be someone I wasn’t, trying to be more grown up than I am. But now I can get back to just being me.”
It’s more, far more, than Marnie was looking for in an answer, but it makes her happy, that after all this time, they can just sit back and talk like this. They were never really friends, except for that one day.
But maybe they could be.
Marnie’s phone rings. Her attention is automatically drawn towards it.
“Don’t answer it,” Hayley says, her lips trailing down Marnie’s throat.
“I just...” Marnie’s not sure why, but she feels a need to know who’s calling. “Hold on, sorry.”
She twists her body out from underneath Hayley, who flops over onto her back with a sigh.
‘Jessa Johansson,’ the caller id reads. Marnie bites her bottom lip, staring at the screen, before hitting the silence button and turning back to Hayley. To hear Shoshanna tell it, it was thinking about Jessa that has led her here, to this particular bed, but Hayley definitely doesn’t need to know that.
“Who was it?” Hayley asks.
“No one important, just someone I used to know,” she replies, rolling over until she’s hovering above Hayley, their legs intertwined.
“Now you’re just somebody that I used to know,” Hayley sings softly, bobbing her head. “Remember that song, from a few years ago? Good song.”
“Mmhm,” Marnie murmurs vaguely, before leaning down and picking back up where they left off.
Hayley hums in appreciation, running her hands up and down Marnie’s back.
This is the second time they’ve done this. The first time was... nice. Nothing more, nothing less. It definitely turned her on, but it wasn’t exactly earth-shattering. But first times rarely are earth-shattering, Marnie tells herself, so now they’re doing it again.
(Shoshanna thinks it’s an experiment. And not even in a normal bicurious let’s-see-what-girls-are-like kind of way. Not exactly, anyway.
Marnie thinks that Shoshanna is full of shit.
“It’s not nice to use people,” Shoshanna had said. “Especially good people. And Hayley’s a good person. I like her.”
“I’m not using her, what are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about you having a very specific type, when it comes to girls. So now you’re all into Hayley, because you want to know if you have a thing for girls in general – well, at least blonde girls with British accents – or just a thing for Jessa.”
“.....Hayley’s Australian, not British.”
Whatever. Shoshanna doesn’t know what she’s talking about.)
It is better, the second time.
Marnie sighs contentedly as she settles between Hayley’s arms, the small spoon pressed along the other girl’s long, lithe frame. Hayley nuzzles against the back of her neck, leaving a gentle kiss, and it’s nice, and it’s comfortable, and Hayley really is a great girl.
So why does she feel guilty, Marnie wonders, as her eyes stray back to her phone, which glows with a reminder that she has one voicemail waiting. It’s probably just another, ‘Hey, remember that time we kind of hooked up, and then I married that random guy?’ message.
She and Jessa do talk semi-irregularly now (just talk, because Jessa now lives in San Diego), and not about that, but Marnie hasn’t forgotten what day it is. Or, what day it was, rather, since it’s now after midnight. But it’s still yesterday in California. Whatever. There’s something weird about the fact that the day after Jessa’s anniversary is a day that comes so easily to mind for her.
“Shut up,” Marnie whispers to Shoshanna’s voice that she can hear inside her head.
“Hm?” Hayley murmurs in sleepy confusion.
“Nothing, babe, go to sleep,” Marnie replies, stroking her hand across Hayley’s arm and feeling another jolt of guilt.
The next day, once she’s back in her apartment, Marnie lies on her bed, staring at the ceiling and trying unsuccessfully not to think.
“Shoshanna?” she calls out loudly, double checking that her roommate isn’t home.
She thinks about Hayley as she closes her eyes, bites her lip, and slips her hand down the front of her jeans.
Right at the last moment, the image in Marnie’s head shifts into one of Jessa. Marnie’s eyes fly open, and her hand falters for just a second, but she keeps going, moaning out loud.
She comes harder than she has in over a year.
“But I don’t want to go to some lame-ass play,” Marnie whines.
Shoshanna won’t take no for an answer. “Yes you do. Everyone is going to be there, except that won’t be true if you’re not there, so you have to be there!”
She huffs in annoyance when Marnie just looks at her out of the corner of her eye, frown firmly in place.
“You used to complain all the time about how you were such a better friend than Hannah. Are you going to prove yourself wrong?” Shoshanna asks, jutting her chin out defiantly. Marnie pouts. She hates it when Shoshanna uses her own words against her. “Hannah and Adam are back in one of their on-again stages, and Adam is one of Ray’s good friends, and Ray is my boyfriend, and you are my best friend, so you’re coming with us!”
Shoshanna turns abruptly and stalks out of the room without waiting for an answer.
“Be ready in an hour!” she calls back. Marnie sighs, but drags herself up and off her bed, heading to her closet to look for something to wear.
Marnie doesn’t realize that by ‘everyone,’ Shoshanna really means ‘everyone’ until it’s too late.
She stops dead in her tracks when she first catches sight of Jessa, waiting in the theater lobby. Shoshanna is standing half a step behind her, probably because she knew this was going to happen, and without missing a beat, she places her hand on Marnie’s back and unceremoniously shoves her forward.
Marnie stumbles, but catches her footing just as Jessa turns in their direction. A wide, happy smile spreads across the Brit’s face, and Marnie can’t help but smile back.
“Darlings!” Jessa exclaims when they reach her. “It’s been far too long!”
She reaches for Shoshanna first, and the two cousins hug each other warmly.
Marnie rolls her eyes at herself when she notices that she’s feeling nervous (because it’s stupid, really; Jessa is just an old friend, and it’s just a hug, and there’s absolutely no reason at all to be nervous).
She smiles when Jessa turns to her, hugging her tightly and only blushing a little when Jessa twists her neck to kiss Marnie on the cheek.
“It’s so good-” Jessa begins, their arms still loosely wrapped around each other, before there’s a familiar voice calling out behind them.
“Oh! My! God! Jessa Johansson, you get over here right this second!”
Marnie snorts at Hannah’s impeccable timing. Jessa gives her one last squeeze and then releases her to go meet up with Hannah.
“There,” Shoshanna says proudly, bumping her hip against Marnie’s. “Now aren’t you glad I made you come to this ‘lame-ass play’?”
“No,” Marnie sullenly replies, waiting a beat before smiling and draping her arm around Shoshanna’s shoulders. “You’re a good friend, Shosh,” she continues. “But I’m totally going to get back at you for this later.”
“That’s what you say now,” Shoshanna counters confidently, wrapping her own arm around Marnie’s waist, “but you’ll be singing a different tune when you’ve got Jessa’s tongue down your throat.”
Marnie releases an incredulous laugh, whipping her head to the side to stare at Shoshanna, who merely raises an eyebrow and smirks. Marnie pulls away slightly so she can whack Shoshanna’s shoulder with the back of her hand.
The play is really lame, of course. Marnie and Adam have never quite gotten along, but while she’ll admit that he has some talent, this whole avant-garde theater stuff isn’t really her thing.
Still, she sits through it like the good friend that she is, and if part of Marnie’s attention is drawn to the girl sitting beside her, watching the blonde’s reactions out of the corner of her eye... Well, no one notices, Marnie is sure, so it’s like it didn’t happen.
“That play was such bullshit,” Jessa tells Adam later, at the after-party, and Marnie is glad to hear that Jessa agrees with her.
Adam rolls his eyes. “Well of course it was,” he responds, as if that was the whole point. And what does Marnie know, maybe it was.
Things are a blur for a while, a whirl of alcohol and dancing and laughing. She loses sight of Jessa at some point, but decides not to worry about it (or at least she tells herself that she’s not worrying).
But then someone reaches for her hand when she’s in the middle of the dance floor, and she turns around quickly, ready to snatch her hand back.
“Jessa!” she happily calls out instead when she sees who it is, wrapping her arms around Jessa’s neck and kissing her on the forehead.
Jessa smiles and pats her on the back, but then wordlessly takes hold of her hand again and starts pulling her away. Marnie has no idea where they’re going, or why, but she follows along happily as they make their way through the crowd, climbing up stairs that Marnie hadn’t even realized were there.
The sounds of the party gradually fade away, until they’re blocked out completely when Jessa pushes open a door at the very top of the stairs, and they find themselves out on the roof of the bar.
“Oh, Jessa, this is amazing!” Marnie exclaims, still holding onto Jessa’s hand as she now takes the lead, pulling the other girl closer to the edge. There’s a half wall surrounding the whole rooftop area, but she still stops a few steps away. “It’s beautiful!”
The night is clear, and there’s a perfect view of the Williamsburg Bridge, with lower Manhattan looming up behind it.
“How did you know this was up here?” she asks, but Jessa just shrugs mysteriously.
Jessa is looking at her with an expression that Marnie is too tipsy to decipher, so after a moment of simply staring at each other, she just keeps talking instead.
“Today is our day, you know,” she says.
“Our day?” Jessa asks. From her smile, though, Marnie guesses that Jessa knows exactly what she’s talking about.
“Yep,” she continues. “Yesterday was your and venture capitalist’s day, but today is yours and mine.”
“It’s almost midnight,” Jessa comments after a moment. “So how shall we commemorate the end of our day?”
Marnie doesn’t answer; she just stares Jessa straight in the eye.
Jessa breaks the eye contact, turning to gaze out towards the city. “You know,” she continues, “on this day for the last three years, there’s one thing I’ve always thought about.”
“What?” Marnie asks softly, swallowing past the dryness in her throat, when the silence stretches on.
“I could always easily remember this day,” Jessa finally goes on, still looking straight out, even as Marnie studies her profile. “And since I couldn’t remember the exact date of that other night of ours, this one had to do.”
There’s one more long pause, and then, right when Marnie feels like she can’t take it anymore, Jessa turns her head to meet her gaze. “I think about what I said to Thomas that night, as we left his apartment” she says. “How I told him I was going to eat you out on the sidewalk. And I think about how my life might have been different if I’d actually done it, like I wanted to, instead of just-”
Jessa doesn’t get to finish whatever she has to say, because then Marnie is practically lunging at her, her hands quickly finding themselves tangled in Jessa’s hair as she crushes their mouths together.
The kiss is hungry and urgent, and Jessa’s arms immediately wrap tightly around Marnie’s body, and her fingers scratch lightly down Marnie’s back in a really nice way, and wow, Jessa is really good at kissing.
(And okay, so maybe Shoshanna did know what she was talking about back when Hayley was around, because now the experiment is complete. Now Marnie knows that it’s kind of but not really about girls in general, with or without blonde hair and a cool accent, but it’s also not the case that Marnie was just misremembering the thrill of that first night kissing Jessa, thinking that it was better than it actually was.
Because this is just like that night, but better, possibly because they’re a bit older, possibly because she’s not as drunk. Definitely because there’s no guy trying to paw at her breasts. But regardless, she feels a delicious tingling that starts at their lips and runs all the way down through her body. There’s a spark that wasn’t there with Hayley, or Bobby, or even Charlie.
Plus, yes, Marnie is currently feeling very grateful towards Shoshanna, now that she has Jessa’s tongue down her throat.)
But okay, now Jessa is moaning, and that’s enough thinking about Shoshanna.
Jessa starts sucking on Marnie’s collarbone, and Marnie tilts her head back and mumbles something, but she isn’t even fully conscious of what she’s saying. Then Jessa goes completely still, though, and she releases a shocked little laugh against Marnie’s skin.
So Marnie hits the rewind button in her mind and…
“Oh God. Please tell me I didn’t actually just say that.” Mortified, Marnie brings her hands up to cover her face.
But Jessa gently pulls them back, and the look in her eyes is so affectionate that it takes Marnie’s breath away, and then Jessa is leaning in and whispering in Marnie’s ear, “Don’t worry, I very much like the way your mind works.”
Because yes, Marnie did just point out that while they’re not on a sidewalk, now they have a whole rooftop to take advantage of.
Jessa kisses her once more, soundly, and then pulls back, reaching again for Marnie’s hand and pulling her further out of sight from the door and closer to the edge. She sees now that there’s also a railing that shoots up from the outside edge of the wall.
“Jessa, no,” Marnie laughs, “you don’t have to eat me out.”
“Does anyone ever have to eat someone out?” Jessa counters. She stops abruptly and turns around, almost crashing into Marnie. “This is a matter of life or death, Marnie,” she says seriously. “I need to eat your cunt.” The she’s turning around again and continuing forward, adding, “No, silly, I don’t have to. But I very much want to, so there we are.”
Jessa takes off her sweater and lays it across the top of the wall. Marnie realizes what Jessa’s going to do next just a moment before she actually does it, and Marnie reaches out to steady herself by grabbing onto Jessa’s shoulder, as the blonde bends to pick her up and ungracefully plop her down onto the sweater.
“Oy, you’re heavier than you look,” Jessa complains, winking to show she’s not serious.
“Hey!” Marnie laughs, swatting playfully at Jessa with her hand.
It’s not the most comfortable she’s ever been, but she leans back against the railing, which thankfully feels quite stable, and the whole thing just seems incredibly funny.
Her laughter dies off abruptly, though, as Jessa advises, “Don’t fall off, all right?” and then oh God, Marnie can feel Jessa’s breath right there, and they’re really going to do this, apparently.
Marnie lets out an un-self-conscious moan as Jessa’s lips trail up her inner thigh, and she’s never felt any inclinations toward exhibitionism before, but there’s something incredibly sexy about this, being outside, with the lights of New York City in front of her, and Jessa’s head between her thighs.
Of all the ways this night could have gone, this is not what Marnie was expecting, but she wouldn’t trade it for anything else.
Later, they’re sitting on the ground (on Jessa’s sweater) and leaning back against the wall, with Jessa’s head on Marnie’s shoulder. They’re quiet for a while, comfortably so, as Marnie plays with Jessa’s hair, and Jessa traces idle shapes over the skin of Marnie’s leg.
“You know what the most surprising thing about tonight was?” Marnie asks.
Jessa murmurs something vague.
“That you were early for the play,” she teases, “instead of showing up fashionably late around intermission.”
Jessa chuckles and pinches Marnie’s thigh in retaliation, earning a surprised “Ow!” from Marnie.
“I was nervous,” Jessa explains after a long pause.
Marnie knits her eyebrows in confusion, twisting to the side so she can look at Jessa directly. “Nervous? Why would you be nervous?”
Jessa looks up at her, then, her eyes sweeping across Marnie’s face. She reaches up and softly, slowly, runs her finger down the length of Marnie’s nose.
“I was nervous about seeing you.”
Marnie just stares at her for a beat. Then, there’s simply nothing else she can do in response to that except lean in and cover Jessa’s mouth with own.
Marnie wakes up to the feel of someone kissing her neck. She smiles.
“Do you know what today is?” Jessa whispers into her ear. Her girlfriend’s breath tickles, but then Marnie moans softly when Jessa bites lightly down on her earlobe.
“Today?” she asks, pretending to be confused, even as a wide smile spreads across her face. “No, is there something special about today?”
Jessa pokes her, causing Marnie to squirm away. She rolls onto her side, leaning forward for a quick kiss.
“Yes, silly, I know what today is,” Marnie finally acknowledges. But really, it was a stupid question. Of course she knows what today is, and Jessa already knows that she knows, even without her saying so.
Jessa waggles her eyebrows. “Does that mean we can fuck in public again?” she asks, and her face is so bright and eager that Marnie has to laugh, then kiss her again, then keep laughing.
“No, we cannot fuck in public again,” Marnie breaks the news. “I’m so sorry.” Before Jessa can even think about protesting, she adds, “And it wasn’t even really in public that other time. But how about we celebrate by me going down on you in the shower?”
Jessa considers this.
“I think I can work with that,” Jessa eventually decides, nodding her head.
“Yeah?” Marnie laughs.
They kiss deeper, now, never mind morning breath, because Marnie is just too happy to care.
“Happy ‘Our Day,’ Marnie,” Jessa declares, pulling back for just a second.
“Mm,” Marnie mumbles in return.
They’ll get up, eventually. But not yet. Now is the time for lazy kisses, playful smiles, and wandering hands.
It took them long enough to get here, so now there’s no rush to go anywhere else.